by ohgodmyface 12:01am EST February 13, 2015We all know the story.A team mired in the division cellar without a prayer. A miraculous comeback run punctuated by out of this world highlights, including Ben Williams’ amazing catches in center field, catcher Triscuitt Messmer’s inexplicable speed on the base paths, and the “lively ball” infield home run of Danny Hemmerling. The Angels’ Cinderella story was capped off by the sudden career revival of the late Mel Clark, who led his team to victory over the Chicago White Sox on the final day of the season, securing the AL West title.But as with any Cinderella story, the clock eventually struck midnight. The carriage turned back into a pumpkin, the finery into rags and the dreams into reality.What started as apparent infighting sparked the greatest baseball controversy of the modern age. Ranch Wilder, outspoken critic and longtime rival of Angels manager George Knox, leaked insider information that Knox believed actual angels were helping his players succeed on the field. Wilder’s comments backfired, however, as Knox was celebrated for his innovative managerial style and teams across the country sought ways to curry heavenly favor for themselves.Thus began the era of performance enhancing divine intervention.Innocent offerings of rum to clubhouse shrines gave way to pitchers scrawling arcane runes on the mound before a start. Forays in sprinkling the batter’s box with salt led to an expansion team adopting the word “devil” in its name. As the holy arms race escalated, the game’s leaders could no longer turn a blind eye. The final straw came when George Steinbrenner himself ritualistically sacrificed a live goat at home plate during the singing of the national anthem.“Divine judgment” was doled out swiftly and harshly.The Angels were stripped of their 1994 division title. The MLB imposed bans on any superstitious or religious paraphernalia, going so far as to forbid the singing of God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch. Notable intellectuals Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens were enlisted to lead MLB’s Anti-theist Commission, culminating in the literal witch-hunt and capture of Roger Clemens.The shadow of the celestial era still lingers today. Many veterans suffer the after effects of prolonged occult exposure, such as Jose Canseco, who to this day continues to speak in tongues, spouting endless streams of unintelligible gibberish. Every successful player of the epoch has been cast in doubt, making a mockery of Hall of Fame voting as it becomes less and less clear which players were or were not “touched by an angel”. The specter of PEDI has reared its ugly head as recently as the 2014 ALDS, as many fans suspect some form of supernatural involvement in Billy Butler’s stolen base.With a new commissioner poised to take office, and the PEDI scandal rapidly approaching legal drinking age, it is time to stop the hypocrisy.It is time to accept the era as a heaven-sent blessing to the game, as the Angels captivating story is credited with having prevented a possible labor dispute or, heaven forbid, an actual stoppage of play.It is time to recall the moments that brought as all together, such as the summer of 1998, when we as a nation witnessed Mark McGwire break the home run record wielding his mythical bat, “Mjölnir”.It is time to recognize the great players that bore our beloved game through its greatest challenge since the Kaiser fixed the World Series in 19-dickety-2.It is time to restore the Angels 1994 American League West Title.It is time to remember what it felt like to believe. via /r/baseball http://www.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/2vqi1w/takeover_fallen_angels_a_call_to_restore_the_1994/
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